Yesterday, something horrific happened. I cannot believe the tragedy. I'm still in shock today.
Deep breath, Chrissy, you can get through this.
I slit my throat.
On a bagel.
Don't laugh at me! Okay, you can laugh. After all, I did. Once the sheer terror of a scratched esophagus left me and I began begging people at work for something to numb my throat.
When one coworker in particular shied away from me thinking I was sick (she's a slight germaphobe, that one), I had to explain that I was not, indeed, sick, but rather had scratched my throat on my breakfast.
The embarassing part was the bagel. Who scratches their throat on a bagel?!
As Gracie said, only me.